RECIPE FOR SUCCESS!!!

YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD OF 'THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS' (BATTERED CORNFLAKES), YOU'VE MAYBE COME ACROSS 'DINNER FIT FOR A KING' (FRIED MOUSE LIVER), AND THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL YOU'VE EVER EVEN READ ABOUT 'THE SUPPER OF FOOLS' (SOUP PIE)!!!!

NOW TRY MY RECIPE FOR SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S DELICIOUS!! (NOTE: NOT REAL MEAL)

INGREDIENTS!!! :

X 1 TABLESPOON OF GET UP AND GO
X 3 GRAMS OF SEIZE THE DAY
X 1 CUP OF AMAZING
X 3 SLICES OF BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE
X 1 KG OF RUTHLESS AMBITION
X 7 BOWLS OF EXCELLENCE
X 1 BOTTLE OF SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
X 1 TIN OF SUPPRESSED FURY
PASTA (OPTIONAL)

STIR INTO OBLIVION AND LEAVE TO SIMMER FOR UP TO 65 YEARS!!!!!!

SERVE HOT!! (PLEASE DO NOT EAT)

HOLY CHRIST THIS THING IS THE BEST THING EVER!!!

cascading blades to the eyes: no blinking from spinytreelobster on Vimeo.


WONDERFUL WINNER CRISPIN DID IT!!!

HE IS MY HERO!!!

EVERYONE SHOULD GIVE HIM £5 FOR THE PLEASURE OF WATCHING THIS FILM!!!

HE IS A SUPERSTAR!!!

GIVE HIM YOUR MONEY!!!

I MEAN IT!!!

FOLLOW THESE LINKS TO WINNERS

I AM A WINNER!!!

I AM ALSO A WINNER!!!

I AM THE THIRD WINNER!!!

TOUCH ME, I AM A WINNER!!!

WATCH ME WIN!!!

I AM THE ULTIMATE WINNER!!!

"JUST ABOUT!"

THIS IS YOUR NEW REPLY!

THIS IS WHAT YOU SAY, FROM NOW ON, WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING!

***

"JASON, CAN YOU GO OVER THERE AND FETCH ME THE ENVELOPES?"

"JUST ABOUT!"

"HELEN, WHERE ARE THE NEW FAXES? WHY ARE THEY NOT ON MY DESK?"

"JUST ABOUT!"

"COME HERE."

"JUST ABOUT!"

"WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT?"

"JUST ABOUT!"

"OH ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

***

SEE?

YOU ARE VERY CLEVER!

YOU CAN DO ALL THAT IS EXPECTED OF YOU AND MORE!

YOU CAN REPLY WITH A WRY SARCASM!

YOU ARE HUMOUROUS AND EFFICIENT!!!

EVERYONE IS LAUGHING WITH YOU!!!

YOU ARE NOW THE JIM CAREY OF YOUR OFFICE!!!!!

LOVE TIP

SEE SOMEONE YOU LIKE THE LOOK OF THEM???

FOLLOW THEM UNTIL THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!

TRY AND BE LIKE THEIR SHADOW!!!

THEN KISS THEM!!!

IT IS GUARANTEED ROMANCE!!!

J IS FOR JUMP!

J IS FOR JUMP!



WHEN EVERYBODY LEAST EXPECTS IT....JUMP!



TAKE A GIANT LEAP INTO THE AIR! FILL YOUR LUNGS WITH SKY AND EXCLAIM THINGS IN A LOUD FASHION!



IT IS A THING OF BEAUTY!!



LATE FOR WORK? JUMP!

MAKING MASHED POTATOES? JUMP!

JUMP!

JUMP!

JUMP!

IF YOU SAY IT ENOUGH, IT CEASES TO HOLD ANY MEANING!

KRISS KROSS MAKES YOU WANNA JUMP AS WELL!

ONLY JUMP IF YOU ARE SO INCLINED! NOBODY SHOULD FORCE YOU TO JUMP!

JUMP FOR FREEDOM AND CHANGE!

YAY FOR JUMP!

CHEER UP!!!!

CHEER UP, YOU DONUT!!!

YOU CAN ALWAYS COME BACK TO BEING SAD!
IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S GOING ANYWHERE!!



TIP OF THE DAY:

THINK MASSIVE THOUGHTS!!!

THINK ABOUT KICKING AN AEROPLANE TO DEATH!
THINK ABOUT PEELING AN ELEPHANT!
THINK ABOUT PUNCHING A VOLCANO'S FACE CLEAN OFF!

YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!
YOU'RE ALLOWED!!


YOU BELONG HERE!
WE TRUST YOU!
YOU BELONG HERE!
WE WILL SUPPORT YOU!
YOU BELONG HERE!
WE TRUST YOU!
YOU BELONG HERE!

CHEER UP!!!

VISUAL TIPS FOR ULTRA SUCCESS

NOW GET OUT THERE AND SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT!!!